3:07 am.

Hi, I am here again at 3:07 am and I just feel like writing (well, typing actually.) Uhm, well I just have been thinking a lot about my life, what i want to do, what I want to achieve and it’s been having my anxiety at its peak and just ranting/talking/writing helps me relax a little, so here goes something.

I am very nervous about my future which is normal for a person about to enter their 20’s, currently in college, never been employed other many other things I don’t want to get into.

I don’t know.

I want to do so many things in life and right now all of that looks completely impossible, there are so many things as of now that point to those same aspirations not happening but I still feel myself wanting to try. I mean I don’t have much so what could I lose? Nothing. Or at least nothing I can think of right now.

Okay, what do I want to do? What do I aspire to be? Honestly,  “I want to be many things and nothing at all.

I want to act, I fell in love with the art of “acting” in middle school after watching a talent show and watching Degrassi (Please tell me you remember that show.) and I fell in love with the characters who faced normal life pre-teen/teenage problems and the fact that I felt like the person portraying that character was really going through that, real raw emotions, I love it. Also, I’m really into action movies especially ones that are futuristic with high tech gadgets especially superhero ones like Captain America (PLEASE TELL ME YOU SAW THAT MOVIE, IT WAS AWESOME!) and so yes, I hope to be able to start acting at some point in my life and be even mildly successful in it, I just want to enjoy the art and gain something from it.

I already have a passion for writing, I love it, It has put me at ease at so many stressful times in my life. (Time: 3:36 am, I should really go to bed.) I have so many journals that I unfortunately no longer hold possession of with writings of just everything from thoughts, feelings, movie’s I’ve come up with in my own head, BOOK IDEAS and yes that is in capital letters because I really want to be have my own books published one day, It will be mostly fiction, me making up characters from pieces of my heart and mind and connecting them with other characters that represent parts of me I do not like. You know….nothing deep.

And technology, technology has grown so much over years (3:42 am) and I am so happy that I am a part of a generation that has invented so many small devices that can do things that back then were not even in thought, seriously, look at what your phone can do! look at laptops today just so much magic that goes into creating these things (magic as in science, a lot of math, purposeful coding ect) and I hope to one day help create a watch that has holographic memory and call people and the holographic version of them pops up and you can talk to the holograph and send a message through them ( GOOGLE COMPANY CALL ME) I want to also do the same things with laptops, see a lot of crazy things but almost everything started with an idea.

(3:53 am) There is a few more things I want to do but If I do not get to sleep sooner, I’ll have a huge migraine later, well, that was that. I can always come back to this and see if I have done one or have started working towards one of these ideas, maybe so, maybe not but here goes something.

Love,Elisa.

 

 

 

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